Conflict happens in every workplace. Positive communication during difficult conversations is a skill. Here are some simple and effective ways you can approach difficult conversations.

Don’t wait

• address conflicts or misunderstandings immediately
• ignoring the issue can make it worse
• if you need time to gather information, schedule a meeting to discuss the issue
• if emotions are heightened, give the employee time to calm down before speaking with them

Plan ahead

• make sure you have all the information before talking to the employee
• whenever possible, plan what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it
• prepare your notes with specific examples

Identify the problem

• clearly state the issue at hand and explain why it’s a concern
• summarize the main points of conflict or misunderstanding in a neutral way, clearly and calmly
• be objective and focus on the facts
• give the employee a chance to explain their side of the story

Practice active listening

• provide a safe, private space
• give your full attention by listening with all 5 senses
• don’t interrupt!
• ask questions to make sure you understand
• repeat what was communicated to you in your own words to show that you
• heard what was communicated to you
• want to understand the employee’s perspective
• want to avoid misunderstandings

Review policies and procedure

• state specific rules, policies or procedures that apply to the conflict
• discuss how the conflict relates to the policies and procedures
• review expectations related to policies, procedures and codes of conduct
• give the employee a copy of relevant policies and procedures to take with them

Manage your emotions

• others are more likely to stay calm if you do
• be empathetic – considering how the employee is feeling or what they think about the situation builds trust and openness with employees
• avoid negative language that may be perceived as hostile

Make a plan of action

• come up with a solution to resolve the conflict
• include the employee in the solution
• ask for feedback
• be flexible and open to their suggestions
• agree on actionable steps toward resolution
• give the employee an opportunity to demonstrate change
• if necessary, write down the plan of action with deadlines/dates as applicable and give the employee a copy
• schedule a follow-up meeting to review progress (if applicable)

Make it a learning experience

• difficult conversations are a great opportunity for growth for you and the employee
• provide resources like training tools, support or mentorship to help the employee improve
• follow up with your employee to show that you’re committed to their development
• use this as an opportunity for constructive feedback